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I Wasn’t Going To Write This…


I had two or three pre-planned ideas for my today’s post but, as someone has recently said to me, ‘life hardly ever goes to plan, and that’s OK’. So I’ve left my ideas as they were and decided to write something completely different.

One of my friends left a comment on my website.

It was a very heart-warming, kind and generous comment. Just the sort of comment I needed in order to reassure myself that what I was doing here made sense. What Angela said was that my posts were ‘easy to identify with’.

There have been other equally kind and generous comments left in response to my various posts and many of them implied that people could relate to what I was writing, but Angela has spelt it out for me. The ‘easy to identify with’ validates my efforts.

In the past, I would never consider pouring out my thoughts on paper.  What purpose would that serve? Would anyone read it or care for what I have to say?

It was over the course of the last year or so, that I realised, through talking to various people, that many of us face similar challenges and frustrations, and that – in a strange sort of way – we feel better when we find out that someone else’s lot is not so different from ours.

Through discussing our experiences with others, we stop feeling singled out, our focus shifts onto the other person and we cheer up a bit. The other person most likely feels the same way, so two people end up feeling a bit better about the world they’re in.

This realisation followed me for a while and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it – until I had the crazy idea to write a blog.

If talking to someone can help people feel a bit better, maybe reading about someone else’s experiences could have a similar effect? I imagined it could, but there was one condition – they would have to be experiences that people could relate to, otherwise the whole exercise would be completely pointless and I might as well spend my time ironing (yes, I consider ironing one of the pointless activities in life, it all get’s creased up again anyway, but I digress). Where am I going with this?

Resonance and identification.

If someone is to identify with my writing, it has to resonate with that person in one way or another.

It has to make people think: ‘yes, this happens to me, too’, or ‘this is how I feel’, or ‘I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t realise X’… If my posts don’t resonate with at least one person, they become irrelevant. No-one ever identifies with irrelevant. Irrelevance equals nothingness, waste of space.

When someone identifies with what I write about, it makes me feel a great deal happier. It means I have done something useful, if only for a small number of people. Maybe I’ve  made someone smile – I don’t know – but hopefully my efforts have not gone to waste.

So thank you, Angela, for these four magic words: ‘easy to identify with’. This is precisely the reason I wanted to write.

12 thoughts on “I Wasn’t Going To Write This…

  1. Oh Beata – this a shamefully delayed response to this lovely post – but what an honour!! And how wonderful to think something I said had such a positive effect!….I’ve not had a chance to catch up on your posts for a while but every time I do it’s such a nice experience – like slipping into a jacuzzi or a warm cozy bed – such a wonderful way to make your readers feel! Well done you! xxx

  2. You’re so right, Beata – and it’s not just about feeling a bit better about the world when you read a post that you identify with; I think it’s about not feeling so alone.

    1. Thank you, Anne, for reading and sharing your thoughts. Feeling alone is not a good feeling to have… I think that not only reading but also writing can help with this, it creates a sense of belonging somewhere, even if it’s quite vaguely defined.

  3. Don’t you love it when you have finally found a way to connect with the many souls you reach out to? That is what easy to identify with means to me. Yes your posts do help me to feel what you are writing and that is where the connection lives.
    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Kimberley, it’s so kind of you to say that…Yes, finding the way to connect is the hardest thing, I think. I hope I am on the right path. If you ‘feel’ what I am writing, I couldn’t ask for more. Thanks a million! 🙂

  4. Beata,

    This is easy to identify with :-). The think I relate to most strongly in your post today is “it means I’ve done something useful”. I personally have a passion to help others, to be useful. Something I’ve learned is that many more people are reading my stuff and being affected by it than are commenting or even checking “like”. So we need to simply keep doing what we need to do, and trust that it is helping somewhere in the Universe. Blessings!

    1. Thank you, Kebba, for your reassuring words. I’ve been writing for only a matter of weeks, so your support meas a lot to me. I also have a strong need to help and make a difference, even if only in a very small way…And each time I read one of your posts, I not only learn something new, but also feel better 🙂

  5. Don’t be discouraged if there aren’t a lot of positive comments. Some of your biggest supporters remain silent. And no matter what you are writing, there is always going to be somebody that identifies with it.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. It can be hard writing without knowing how it is received, but I suppose it would take a lot of time if people were to comment on everything they read…

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